IN MIDIAN
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You either must be invited by Head Mod Lucrece or by ME, the frickin co-mod, or by any player in the RPG!

Its asshat and wanker freed, meaning no one is there to ruin the peace and if they do...


THEY GET TOSSED OUT LIKE WHOA!


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usagi no hime (11:15:20 PM): no peace at home
usagi no hime (11:15:24 PM): no peace in my fantasy

Everyone seems to treat me as if I am their dog to kick.

by tokyo_roses

I had a panic attack the other day...

I really did.

As many times as grandma talks down to my mother and I sense we moved back in, I really wasn't ready to deal with anyone on that day.
Complete dread and anxiety overwhelemed me when she started fussing saying she was going to call the cops on us.(like the last time when she did so on my mother)

Even though everything worked out well the last time my grandmother did that(she lied to the cops and said my mother stolen money from her, which was not true since it was the OTHER way around) I just lost it.

I spent most of the morning just crying in my bed and just a complete nervous wreck for most of the day.

I talked to a few friends in tne morn and all(thanks guys, you know who you are)

But, damn...I really just got so tired of this old coot and her mess.

With graduation finally near, this new job and my boyfriend being so damn far away...

My moods have been up and down like a rollercoaster as of late.
I'm pretty much unstable, trying to hold it together and hope 2008 is a better yet(especially since my mother and I are trying to move away from here)

I hope everything works out well.

Friends really do come and go, don't they?

I am so bored...lonely, rather.
I am not in the best of spirits despite my theraphy of commerical consumerisim(yeah, I am buying gothic lolita clothing like a mad woman as of late) but...

It would feel nice to speak to someone who isn't a im box on the computer screen.

Maybe I should check around in my phonebook.

For those interetsed, I just posted up the first chapter of my fanfiction series
"The Metal Gear Doctrine".

This is my first take of writing a story within the Metal Gear Solid 2 universe.
Please enjoy.

The Metal Gear Doctrine
Prologue- Doctrine
Chapter One- Matthew's Father

Chapter Two will be hopefully done before the New Year.



Christmas Glitter Graphics

I guess Phillip isn't going to hold through with his promise.

I knew it was too good to think that he would actually get me a gift for Christmas after all these years of me waisting my time trying to help him out.

Too good to be true, eh?

Pfft...

Phillip Pargon, you owe me a PSP and don't you forget it!

Anyone who knows me knows that I have been desperately seeking a good and affordable gothic lolita dress ever since I was sixteen years old.
I love the style but never got a chance to buy it.

Now I am considering it big time.

http://cgi.ebay.com/Cosplay-Gothic-Lolita-Punk-costume-tailor-made-CK380_W0QQitemZ260186457889QQihZ016QQcategoryZ315QQtcZphotoQQcmdZViewItem

The dress here sold by Ju store on ebay has a great style to it.
It's a red plaid dress with black lace and ruffles on the skirt. It's shelveless and has a jumper look and feel too it.
The dress is $52.16 in U.S dollars and comes up to $96.19 with shipping fee and all.(Its coming from Braunschweig, Germany)

I am really considering buying this dress hopefully this week so i can wait for it over Christmas break and have it before Saturday class starts again in January.

This dress is utterly gorgeous!

Has anyone ever brought from here before?

This dressy could be my first step into finally achieving a gothic lolita look.

Maybe I should just finish this story...
I can't believe I got a review on this old fan fiction after six years...


http://www.fanfiction.net/~cleojane

Yeah, my pen name there is Cleo Jane

I don't get the reason why parents are so quick to judge their children as a complete 'failure' if the job market now is so harsh!
Life has changed since the 1950s and its not easy to get a job anymore considering how much a college grad got to kiss ass/network in order to get a job that he or she knows they are MORE than qualified for!
The job market today is like being on a reality TV show, where you have to bump off the other potenial job seekers with your connections with the Surivivor Trial Chief in order not to get booted off the show!

It's THAT hard...

For like two years of my life, I am going to be playing the role of a intern for awhile and this is before college.
I'm taking art classes while trying to finish up high school and get the gaul to fill out college applications where the tution is almost 40,000 dollars too high!
I have nothing in my bank account, almost, and I am being plagued with the stress night and day by having to live with my mother and grandmother during these hard times who just usually kick me down no matter how well I do.

Then I have a boyfriend who's parents do the exact same for him.

The world is not easy place to live on and it's only becoming harder everyday.
I am tired to be honest, dead exhausted.

I can barely find the will to even rp anymore for half the time it's drama since there is far too many conflicting personalities for everyone to get along seamlessly. Sometimes I wonder why the hell I even rp and I always find the answer to that to be the same logic I use everytime to to explain my actions.

I want to run away from reality.

In my fantasy world, I am a 5'9 Archadian man with short vivd brown hair and a great and charming smile who goes by the name of 'Balthier' and is as free as a bird since he is a sky pirate who steals for a living.

In real life, nay.

Just nay.

The entire opposite of that character is what I am.
I feel as if I am getting as bad as the days I spent on LJ as chibiandor
I feel as if I am trying to escape from the truth but the realization is dawning that this is my life and it is a hard one to live.

I really think I need a drink.

Go-go, do good.
Is beautiful!
I'm nowhere
It's at a saturation point
Don't be fogged by the golden turkey
Trench warfare
No country for a turkey
Talking in fantasy land
Dark horse? What dark horse?
Talking turkey in fantasy land of the week.
Go high, yet go low
Be like the golden years
Summer of Sam
Seems like old times
Go-go do good.

A poem constructed out of miscellaneous Daily Post headlines.
[Edited: I added a different line at the end]

I am debating if I want to go to class on Saturday or not.
I really don't want that stupid teacher to get on my nerves but I am not about to give up my seat at Cooper Union for some fake anime artist to take it!

Yeah, I'm a tad bit elitest, aren't I? No, I call it pride.

I am going to class on Saturday, this the last Sat of the first cycle.
Cycle two is starting soon.

Top 6 Friday Threats to world Peace.
Posted by Simon at 2/24/2006 12:03:00 AM
http://dossing.blogspot.com/

6. North Korea. Some time ago got nuclear weapons. This regime is extreme and crumbling. They will not stop at using these weapons to survive. Also with American armies in South Korea. They may get itchy fingers on the button.

5. China’s booming economy is making it hungry for resources. They are investing heavily in African countries. Expanding their influence. The west thought the opening of the economy would lead to increased freedom for it’s people. But what cases such as Google show. Is this regimes power is not being diminished. And they still have their eyes on Taiwan who is supported by America.

4. Russia’s Gas grip on Europe. I have talked about this.

3. The collapse of the U.N . The U.N is the one organisation that can bring countries together to work together and work through divisions. But as I argued here the UN’s inability to effectively work beyond self interests could herald its demise as a body that can help maintain world peace.

2. Fundamental Islam. Does this one need to be explained. Iran, Syria, 9/11 Madrid 7/11 reaction to Danish cartoons. Fundamental Islamist are manipulating the poor moderates to make them believe that they are at war with the west. That they have to destroy the west. This large bank of hatred building up is going to boil over and effect us all. And people in the west like these people. Are helping the fundamental Imams turn moderate Muslims in to potential Jihadists.

1. Oil makes the world go round. It is vital for every countries economy and food production. Without it the world order would collapse. As resources diminish oil will drive countries to more and more desperate measures.



Just something I wanna remember...
Found it at work.

Dude, this is gonna rock...

I already love this new internship/job gig.
Animation, art, painting, graphics...

Holy good, I think I've died and gone to heaven!!!

Art isn't about how good you are or how well you draw.
Art is about your passion to draw rather than your abilities to conquer it.
It all makes sense now...

Those people at the art colleges are not looking for students who are complete 'I know it all' to be enrolled in their cools.
They are looking for people who have an ability to learn how to draw better and use the techinques and guidelines to become successful artists.

I think...I understand it now.

I really, REALLY did not order for a *White* Christmas...

Oh, my God...

Snow.

I *hate* snow. Snow in one of the most populated cities on earth...is not a winning combination.

Its going to be so cold now...
I am really not ready for -20 degrees weather.

Oh man!

Today was stressful! I drew a old wrinkled, nasty, old, ancient, bag of bones and skin today that dared to call his himself a nude model. Did I mention *OLD*?
Like, seeing a elderly dick today was not what I wanted to see at all...

Those damn art teachers love to spring up crap on us like this, no warning at all.
Just as soon as I walked in "BAM!" wrinkly dude! >_<

Unfun dude, unfun to the MAXIMUM degree.

But at least my picture came out one of the best today.
That made me feel great since I do consider myself to be a damn good artist.

I have to practice more, just got to buckle down this week and buy some art supplies soon.

BTW, I am skeptical about this new internship gig.
I rather get paid 10 dollars an hour than minimum wage.
Though...if I take the internship, I will be a secretary at a animation company.

I am not sure what to do, I just need money.

WTF?

I am gonna stare at people all day like this guy.
One eye up, one eye down.

I feel so damn sleepy now...

In less than a few weeks, my life seems to be changing to a completely different course than I would expect it to be.
I've decided to go back to work for CDI, I might end up doing a paid internship at a animation studio as a receptionist/secretary if all goes well.I spoke to one of the consuelers about it and I really need a job no matter what

. So far school is going well, I got my report card and I have a 89 in both math classes and a 80 grade from Pitula's stupid Math History class(I hate that randy fat bastard regardless) Both grades well deserved since I am pretty sick of math and just trying my best to understand it before January.
I might go to school today to take the Friday class for the Math A regents, that is if I can find anything CLEAN to wear today.
I was gonna do the wash instead.

Also, this Novemeber I found a Ipod on the street near my school.
I am a proud owner of a new 30g video ipod that is basically like a 300 or 150 dollar value for basically NOTHING but a 5 fingered discount!
And if that is not amazing enough, I found $166 dollars in cash on the bus going home last night! It was just sitting there on a empty chair and be damned if I wasn't gonna take it and put that in my poor little bank account!
Life is interesting so far...

I have to keep my grades up so I can finish in Jan.
I have a feeling December may end faster than I imagine